Alpine Pinball Tour

France (Again)

30th June to 9th July 2000

Pinball Wizards

What Actually Happened

(An almost chronological account by Andrew Rawlinson)

A blackbird attacked Ray outside Boulogne while driving Colin's car. Colin ducked, there was a bang, and the windscreen was filled with black feathers. Later, at 5am Colin's car was smoking. He wasn't pleased. Richard ran about with a fire extinguisher but Colin still wasn't amused.

French birds don't like me.
Ray

Somehow we all arrived safely at the Drac, but there was no water. Many of us had shiny new boats that we didn't want to scratch so we went to the Ubaye instead. The Racecourse was a good warm up, but everyone slept through it.

Richard could walk down the river with his boat on a lead and we'll run it.
Mike

The following day we did the Ubaye from La Fresquière, then the Racecourse again. The level was the same as last year. On the Fresquière Conrad had a swim in a stopper, to everyone else's amusement. We put all the RPM's in the same group for the Racecourse. Mike is now looking for a new boat. See appendix II.

Nice little swim in a stopper - did a washing machine impression. Didn't want to wait for the spin cycle so ejected. Chunda threw me a line from 6' away - glad to know he has my safety at heart.
Conrad

Ed stayed up too late and drank too much beer.
Ray

On Monday we paddled the Guisane and Clarée

Did the upper and lower something or other today. Two swims. Any more and I'll have to join the Foreign Legion.
Ray

If the Clarée was a pinball machine then the Briançon Gorge and the Durance Gorge were empty, and combined with the portage from Hell were completely miserable. We camped at the Onde where Sav entertained us with his Tilley lamp and recruited some volunteers to help him build a stand for it using fallen trees. The following day we paddled the Onde. At last a river with some water.

Having avoided all the rocks and trees on the Onde, I got pinned on my Dad, who was sitting on a rock waiting to be pulled off.
Andrew

He was upside down on top of Ray, which was funny because Ray was pulling him one way and Andrew was trying to pull himself up on the other side.
Richard

I can't remember who won.
Andrew

We had to do the Gyr. It was as always a good run, but in early afternoon wasn't as full on as usual. At this point we said goodbye to Colin, Michael, Mike and Dick, who were going on a climbing expedition. Weather and lack of space in the hut meant they would return earlier than planned and meet us the following day at Maison Du Roy.

They've left their bread behind. Lets eat it tonight and not tell them.
Ray

We took the opportunity to enjoy group cooking at Chateau Q. We cooked four different curries.

The Guil has changed. Here's a summary of what it was like when we did it. We think it will change further after the flood waters have completely settled and the road maintenance is finished.

Try not to get pinned on crossing diggers.
Richard

Chateau Queyras: Good medium level, probably not much different from the last time it was at that level. Look out for a fast tongue shooting into the right hand wall just before the gorge opens out.

Andrew: Hello Conrad, did you enjoy that?
Conrad: Yes. That was good.
Andrew: We'd better move down from this eddy. It'll be difficult to pull my Dad out here.

Sure enough, the boat soon emerged round the corner on it's own. Ray had swum very early and climbed out above the gorge. We rescued the boat with some assistance but it was cracked and dented, (so there was a reason why we made Richard bring a spare boat).

Guardian Angel Gorge: This was generally a little more continuous than last year. Some of the drops have washed through to make a pleasant combination of rapids and drops.

The drop with the tree in it last year has had the tree washed up the bank out of the way, but the current corkscrews through a narrow gap into an undercut on the left. Don't run it unless you like getting trashed under undercuts. Richard didn't inspect and got mildly trashed.

Maison Du Roy: very different. The boulder garden isn't a boulder garden any more, but there's a left hand bend after it with some nasty stoppers where Conrad and Michael swam. Oxford University rescued Conrad's boat (and paddles after they had finished playing in the Keyhole). They said they'd do without the rescue beer if he took the duck off his helmet. He bought the beer.

The Keyhole itself is also easier, but running it commits you to running a new drop after it. The right hand cliff has fallen into the river below creating a vertical drop with a retentive stopper. The French paddlers swam. Tony from Oxford got trashed and nearly swam so we didn't bother with it. The Oxford paddlers annoyed Richard - they've been on a safety course. The raft company might try to use explosives on this drop because at the moment it's a portage, which is probably bad for business.

I enjoyed the last bit, after the Keyhole because I gave up breaking out and waiting for my group to catch up.
Andrew

We met Colin and the climbers at the Maison Du Roy get out and having collected Conrad's paddles from where they had been rescued, went to the Chateau Queyras campsite and camped in two groups at opposite ends of the site. Some of us went out for a pizza at a pig themed restaurant.

On Friday those who missed paddling the Guil due to being up a peak were accompanied by those who just felt like it to do the Maison Du Roy section again. After that we went to the Rabioux Wave, where the camp warden gave us a lecture about litter then had a conversation in French with the receptionist that we weren't supposed to understand. Very rude.

Saturday was the last day of paddling. We spent the morning at the Rabioux wave where Mike had an impressive ride in the Storm cut short by a raft.

On the way back we paddled the Romanche. Richard did the top bit with lots of backloops and bits done backwards or upside down. Being as it was the last river of the trip most people paddled. For this reason it was one of the most enjoyable rivers of the trip.

Colin and Michael stayed in France for another week of climbing. The rest of us went to the chip shop in Dover.

Appendix I - Chat-up Lines

Michael: Hi I'm Mike from Southend!

Phil: Yes, I'm a student of err... physics.

Brian: I'm the letcherer (lecturer).

Appendix II - The True Meaning Of RPM

Team Angry Fish believe RPM stands for: -

Rapid Portage Machine
Reliable Pinning Machine
Recomendé Pour Morons
Receding Perverted Man
Really Pathetic Man
Result Probably Mayhem

Appendix III - River Table

Distances in km.